I am writing this listening to the waves from the Gulf roll up on the sugar sand beach here in Panama City Beach. The sun has just come up, there’s a slight breeze blowing, and the high today will be 89 degrees. Diana is curled up on the couch watching cartoons while I write and drink my coffee out on the porch. It’s absolutely perfect. I am beyond grateful that we decided to come, especially since we almost didn’t.
Last month, there was a news story about flesh-eating bacteria in the Gulf. Last week, there was another news story about an e coli outbreak near here, too, and I just got an alert on my phone that Hurricane Dorian is now a Category 5 with 160 mph winds nearing the Bahamas. All of these seemed like legitimate reasons to reconsider a beach trip – but my gut told me that we should come anyway.
A couple of months ago, I started asking Diana what she wanted for her birthday, and amongst the usual requests for (more) LEGOS and a unicorn, she started asking for a secret girls’ beach trip, just the two of us. I played along at first, thinking it was just a fun idea that would be replaced with the next fun idea that she came up with, but it stuck. Every day or so, she would refer to our trip, and it always made her so happy to be conspiring and planning for our big adventure.
Once I realized that this wish was going to stick, I reached out to a friend to ask about renting his beach place. It turns out that he and his wife sold their rental, but then, he offered the use of their personal condo for FREE. I was bowled over by their generosity! (Thanks Rick and Cheryl!!!) So, I decided to keep Diana out of school on Friday and take a 4-day weekend here in Panama City Beach.
Almost immediately, it seemed like there were negative voices trying to give me reasons not to come. Between those news stories or someone commenting on the inevitable traffic, it started to look like it may not be the best idea for us to take this trip. Then, I found out that on Monday, after I bring her home, I will have to get back in the car and make a 5 ½ hour trip for work for a total of 10 hours of driving in one day.
Then, last week, I had one of those moments of clarity: there will be always be reasons NOT to do something. Fear can be powerful, but I don’t have to let it take over. I did the research to make sure that the water was safe. I checked the weather to make sure that it wouldn’t impact our trip. I planned to have a little break from driving tomorrow that will make it more manageable. I decided not to let the fear of potential bad things keep us from having a great trip. I decided not to let the worry about things that may never happen rob us from getting to have our girls’ trip.
We have had the best time – we have played on the beach, swam in the pool, played LEGOS and cards, read a book (okay, that was just me…), cooked together and eaten on the porch, people watched, done each other’s nails, played video games, gone out for ice cream and games and told each other bedtime stories. It’s been exactly what she was hoping for.
If I had given in to those negative voices, we would have missed this. For me, this isn’t just about the beach trip – it’s bigger than that. I want her to know that we don’t borrow worry where we don’t need to. I want her to know that our attitudes can be positive even when others will be negative. I want her to live a life where the bias is saying YES to adventures. I want her to see a role model that looks for ways to DO things rather than reasons to avoid them.
On the first night here, when we were setting the table for our dinner out on the porch, Diana paused as she was about to step outside. She took a deep breath, turned around to face me with a grin and said, “Momma, we have the best life ever.” My heart melted, and I smiled back at her and said, “We sure do, kiddo.”
Comments